Naps for Everyone

Daydreams about napping, at the most absurd times, find their way to the front of my brain often. Just going home to close my curtains, turning my fans on high, putting my phone on silent and climbing onto my eggcrate mattress seem to overcome every desire at the most odd moments. I long to wake up with a feeling of being refreshed.

But see that “Rejuvenated” feeling just doesn’t happen for me. For some reason during these naps of mine, everything in the universe is preventing me from hitting that deep sleep I long for. On non trash days, the garbage truck decides it wants to run past my house. Birds feel the need to fly into my sliding glass doors, Alexa seems she’s lonely and will randomly blurt something out from across the room and that cat of mine, God don’t get me started on him tapping with his paw for attention as well.

Its always perfect timing too; just as my mind was finally shutting off. It’s when I don’t remember what my last thought was before I went under and BAM something wakes me again and before I know it, It’s that time, time for me to get up. It’s been a little under two hours that I have fallen asleep 4 different times and I was never able hit that deep “nap stage” that i was so anxious to get. Im now more exhausted before I tried to nap and now it’s on. I’m beyond cranky and ready to demolish and Hulk smash anything that steps in my path.

Im cranky.

I tell Alexa to play my Whitesnake Pandora and all of a sudden she’s deaf. Oh so this talkative electronic asshole, is now deaf, and has nothing to say. I take my first spout of cranky anti-nap time anger out on her and shout, she complies.

Well Greeeaaaattt, now I’m lazy AND cranky… this is shitty. I’m ready to blow shit up.

I just wanted to take a nap, without my weird fucking dreams confusing me into consciousness, without my neighbor honking their horn or my cat knocking something of the counter downstairs, and why the hell was that garbage truck running on a Wendesday!?? Jerk.

Naps are suppose to rejuvenate you, pppfftttt.


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