Im not suppose to be able to count the days or remember the last time. It should be all the time so I don’t have to remember. Million things to say in a 5 minute time period that just gets lost with exhaustion when I’m counting the days.
I could talk for hours and get lost in company for the rest of my life; always rejected. I want to be mean, sometimes I am, but there’s so much more I want to say that I only let the mean last 1 of the 5 minutes I get in the counted days.
I don’t want him to leave I just wanna be in his presence and lift him up. I want to give him my energy even if Im reciprocating some of his bad, just to make him feel better.
I could spend every waking moment with him, maybe that’s why he left mentally, my love is too much with someone with sometimes love.